how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is my gift to your gina
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
