This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Houston, we have a blender
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
