so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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