peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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