dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
