dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
