just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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