he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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