Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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