Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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