I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
