Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
