Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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