He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
