Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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