Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
