I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
