What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
