i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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