Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize