I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
