My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
