Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
