I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i love accidental penises.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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