I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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