Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
