guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
