Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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