Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
