Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
