I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
