So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
