She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize