Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
