I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
