He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
