I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
