my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
