I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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