i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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