So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just invented taco cereal.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
