Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
