I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
