remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
is it fun? or sober?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
