you guys were way drunker than both of me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
