Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
PANTIES FOUND
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize