I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
