So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
