i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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