Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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