Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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