Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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