Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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