Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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