That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
