At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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