Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
