I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
