At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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