What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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